Gratitude

How do you say thank you to God when you are so grateful that your voice breaks when talking, and tears flood your eyes when realizing his workings.
How do you begin to realize that he WANTS to do good things for his children?
How can we feel worthy of such unconditional love?

When you have nothing left but to cry out to God for Mercy...
For forgiveness, for ONE MORE CHANCE.....
and then you get that chance plus a thousand more.....
how do we begin to say thank you?

We SAY thank you with our mouths (that he formed) with our voice's (that he created) with the breath we breathe that he freely gives us.
How can we say thank you to so great a Creator that we are only alive because he permits our hearts to beat this very moment...?

So many things I have wanted to do in life.

I wanted to build a log house at one time, I wanted to be a journalist or psychologist, I wanted to run an import/export business, I wanted to give my children all their hearts desires; horses, motorcycles, a nice home, Godly upbringing, lead them to the path of a successful life.
I wanted to understand indigenous peoples and their cultures and figure out where God fits in with them... do they need missionaries? Are they better off left alone with their own traditions and ways? Must they be saved the same as the anglos?
I wanted to learn the entire Bible, and save its words in my heart.
I wanted wisdom and knowledge.
I wanted people around me, to socialize and be in company with.
I, I, I, I........ ME, ME ME......

Then, I realized at a certain point in my life that its NOT all about ME... its not the 'I WANT that counts.

When you survive a husband committing suicide, a son that was kidnapped, a daughter running around somewhere in the world without the shelter of loving arms and family....
When you give up all you have in this world and become a vagabond of sorts...not really knowing where your head will rest.... When you see your son come home, full of love and learning, and now a man. When you see your daughter becoming a woman and you like what you see....

When you realize that you were born into a family that taught you about morals,about God,about what is right and wrong, and helps to assure that you walk that path...
When you WAKE UP, in whatever way that it happens to you, you realize that all is left is gratitude and thankfulness.

A deep Thank you to God that surpasses all understanding.
A deep calm that he is in control, and will never let you down.
A deep resignation that he is God and you are NOT.

When, and IF you are ever privileged enough to experience that, you then just want to put your arms around God and say, "Thanks".

Thanks from all that I am. Thanks for being God. Thanks for the air I breathe, that my heart still beats. Thanks that you love me, more than I love myself. Thanks for saving me from myself...

That I may be less, and that YOU may be more....more than me, more than my ego, more than any expectations of this earth.
Walking in that simplicity, and loving like that is my gratitude to my God and all that he has done for me.

Dont feel sorry for me......
I have all that I will ever need.

Thanks God..... more than words can say.

Yours Forever,
Val