I came upon this email and really enjoyed what it had to say. I had never really thought about it before, but WHY do we yell when we are angry? Is it because we are afraid the other person wont hear us?
Anyway, I enjoyed this 'sages advice, perhaps you will too~
A sage asked his disciples:
'Why do people yell at each other when they are upset?'
The disciples thought for a while, and one said, 'We lose our calm and so we yell!'
'But explain to me, why do you yell when the other person is right next to you?' asked the sage.
'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you yell at a person when you're angry?'
The disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the sage.
Finally the sage explained...
'When two people are angry at each other, there is a distance which arises between their hearts.
To cover that distance they must yell, to be able to hear each other.
The angrier they are, the louder they will have to yell to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the sage asked...
'What happens when people are in love? They do not yell at each other but talk softly.
Why? Their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small.
The sage continued, 'What happens when their love for the other grows even more?
They do not speak, they only whisper. Their hearts come even closer with love.
Finally they need not even whisper... they only look at each other and that's all.
That is how close people are when they love each other. The heart is like one.'
Then the sage said, '
The lesson here is this:
When you disagree do not let a distance come between your hearts.
Relationships are far more important than specific outcomes.
Do not say or do things that increase the distance between hearts,
else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you may not find the path to return.'
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